Lunch Lady Land

I have had a strange addiction to pear crisp for the last month. I have made 3 pans of pear crsip this month. I figure I went through about 30 pears, 3 sticks of butter. I have also developed a new found love for a redesigned recipe for sloppy joe's. All I think mom added was garlic and onions. Since mom made them 3 days ago, I have eaten 6! My insides must be disgusted with my decisions lately. Every time that I eat a sloppy joe, I think of the song "Lunchlady Land" by Adam Sandler. I can't get it out of my head. At least the song is entertaining. 

Bay Beach is finally closed for the season! After we closed the park off to the public, we spent an hour-ish riding the Zippen Pippen and Sea Dragon. I'll admit, I could only handle riding the dragon once. That ride makes me seasick.

A few days ago, I was raking some leaves and stirred up a bee colony. I got stung on the arm then ran into the house. As I was placing an ice pack on my arm, I felt something in my pants. I got stung in the thigh. I pulled my pants down and found another one attached to my thigh. Before I had a chance to kill that one, I got my third sting. I finally decided to take my pants completely off and shake them out, to find a 4th bee lurking. I killed that sucker with my bear hands. I was stung more times that day than I had been in over a decade. There's a lesson to be learned from all of this. Where one bee goes, another will follow. 

A friend invited me to Milwaukee to see an art show last week. Some of her art was displayed there. It was definitely more fun than I expected. It included live performances, a lady who painted someone's entire body over the course of the evening, paintings, ceramics, and a broad audience. We were all told to come in cocktail attire. My friends and I did, but about 50% of the people there were dressed in a fashion trend that I can only hope, never makes it's way out of the city.

I lost my tweezers about a month ago. Since then, I have been letting my eyebrows grow out. Like many teens in the 90's, I was stupid and over plucked. Since then, I have made multiple, short lived attempts at growing them back. It is hard to get over how stupid it looks to have random hairs growing all over the place and realize that when the bald spots go away, it will all be worth it. I'm thinking of buying a product to speed up the process. I have done some research, and it could take over a year to achieve my goal. I'm already seeing impressive progress. Random hairs are popping up all over the place. Ha! Wish me luck. 

Autumn is approaching

Fall and I are in a sort of love/hate relationship. 

What I love about fall

1. Walking through corn mazes.

2. Carving pumpkins.

3. (as a child) collecting candy on halloween, sorting and trading through the stash with my brother, and then giving the crap candy back to annoying late night bell ringers. 

4. Eating more hot homesome meals.

5. Apple orchids and the like.

6. The premiers of all the new seasons of television shows. Which reminds me, Boardwalk Empire is on tonight!

7. Shaving less frequently. Also, getting away with not wearing a bra. All small breasted ladies can vouch for the wonderful 9 month boob vacation. Wahooooo!

8. Watching the squirrels fight over one chesnut when 100's of them are in plain site. (I live next to two chestnut trees).

9. The amount of public body odor slightly decreases.

10. Inappropriate attire decreases.

What I hate about the fall

1a. I wear one layer of clothing indoors and I'm too cold.

1b. I wear 2 layers of clothing indoors and I'm satisfied.

1c. I wear 2 layers of clothing outdoors and I'm too cold.

1d. I wear 3 layers of clothing outdoors and I'm satisfied. 

1e. When I wear 2 or more layers of clothing, I get grundy's and feel like I'm suffocating.

2. Autumn leads to my least favorite season of all. 

3. Daylight is decreasing at an accelerated pace.

4. It's flu season. 

5. The grass and flowers are decaying.

6. Football.

7. Dry skin

8. Many beautiful species are migrating. I'll miss you lady bugs, monarchs, and most of all, waking up to song birds.

Before I created this list, I was sure that the bad would out rule the good. It turns out, I have less to crab about after all. 

Horrible Thief

Why is it that whenever I go to the store and state clearly that I do not want my item bagged, it get's bagged anyway? This happens probably 90% of the time! I'm bringing this question up because an employee at Walgreens really set me off today. Generally, I receive great service there. Today I purchased razor blades that are now stored in theft prevention containers. I don't know the exact term for them. Anyway, the lady at the counter crabbily states "next time you buy these, you need to go to the cosmetics counter. I don't have the equipment to open these." Then she screams for the lady in cosmetics from the other side of the store to come over and help her. This set me off. Then I tell her that I don't want my items bagged, and set my backpack on the counter to emphasize my request. She proceeded to bag my item regardless. Mind you, there were only two items. One for each hand! I know that this practice is a force of habit, but seriously? End rant..

I'm curious to know why razors are now in anti theft containers. The last time that I purchased razors, they were not protected. Granted, until I started wearing shorts in July, I rarely felt the need to shave. I don't even remember the last time that I had to purchase them. Anyway, even I'm getting disgusted by the details of this subject, so I'll stop there. My curiosity got the best of me, so I did some online research about this matter. Gillette razor blades are indeed one of the highest rated theft items in the country next to formula, over the counter medication, pregnancy tests, and many other things. LOL apparently Let's Rock Elmo made it on the list in 2011. I expect to see more anti theft containers showing up in stores in the near future. I'm sure that will go over well. You know we have to check $5 bills and above with a counterfeit pen at work now? How is that even feasible with the price of ink?

I was once shopping on a cold winter day. I had yet to even take off my jacket. While walking through the mall, a try me bottle of lotion fell out of my hood. The feeling of embarrassment and guilt got the better of me. I took the half empty bottle back to Bath and Body Works and handed it to the first employee that I saw and explained the situation. She must have thought I was crazy. She laughed and told me just to keep it. Of course, I didn't. My eczema flares up in the dry winter weather, and anything fragrant makes it ten times worse. But honesty is the best policy.

What I have learned through all of this, is that I would make an awful thief. I ask you readers; what is the most ridiculous item that you have seen in an anti theft case? What is the most ridiculous thing that you have accidently stollen? Did you return it?

Workaholic

You know you are an early childhood education major when: You accidently refer to your fellow co worker as Ernie. Sorry Burt!

You know it is time to start biking in the street at night when: You come within inches of hitting a metal rod hanging out the back of someone's truck.

You know you work too much when: You have your own loaf of bread, and jars of pb&j in your break room.

You know your muscle relaxers work when: You accidently take them in the morning.

You know you are in need of rest when: You consitently wake up to a dark room and don't recall turning off the television.

You know that you have been spoiled with hot humid weather when: You are wearing ear muffs and mittens in July.

You know it's been a shitty summer when: You feel something drip on you and you hope it's just bird shit.

You know its not really bird shit when: You have been shit on before.

You know you have awesome quotes when: Your cousin makes a shit my cousin Val says twitter page.

You know you need to get a twitter account when: You will soon become famous.

You know you have eaten too many prunes when: Your fingers have an organge glow to them.

You know that you are a true tourist when: After talking to you for a few minutes, I develop your accent temporarily.

I tried to turn this blog into a large amount of tweets as practice for my cousin's future success in shitcuzvalsays. I think the only thing I don't know how to do is place hash tags in their deserving spots.

It's been a while

Hey there Quigsaw lovers! Nice to see your pretty faces again.

Whats this I see on my July schedule? Two, 3 day long weekends in a row? Is this my reward for picking up a gazillion shifts in June? I thank whoever made this schedule for giving me the chance to accept that offer. I might also be a little offended if this is their way of saying that their weekends would be more peaceful without my presence. Well schedule makers; you have not fooled me. You'll more than likely be seeing my beautiful face anyway.

Oh!!! My family is finally on a new phone plan. AT&T, you have not been missed. This plan has not made me the happiest of campers yet either. Let me just start off with the fact that it is an iPhone 4. I got an awesome Willy Wonka Golden Ticket phone cover. That is probably my most favorite thing about the phone thus far. I do not enjoy the random phone calls that I continue to get from Vermont. I keep missing the calls, and when I try to call them back, all I hear is elevator music. Can someone please explain that to me? My sister's phone keeps reminding her to take pills, which made my mom and brother to come to the conclusion that our phones are not in fact new, but are refurbished. My brother also informed my mother that she should not have had to pay the activation fee that she did. Needless to say, our excitement has worn down and we are probably going to get rid of these phones. And for those of you who caught the part of the story where my 11 year old sister got an iPhone, this was no typo. Don't even get me started on my thoughts about that.

My father is visiting from Italy on Sunday. My friend Carrie and I will be picking him up from the airport in Milwaukee. I look forward to that trip more than anything this week. If you are in the Green Bay area, my dad will be performing at Comedy City on Friday the 28th. Be there or be square. Nobody like's squares. I can't wait to show him the scrap booking work that I have worked so hard on during my free time. I have found some sweet old photos that I would like to get touched up. There is a really cool picture of the entire family in a doorway that I would like to use as the cover photo to one of the scrap books. My brother suggested that I ask someone to touch it up for me on reddit. That is only one of many photos that I would like to get touched up, but I like his idea. About a month ago, I purchased a cool workbook on scrap booking your family history. It has been a big help! I have learned a lot of things from the author of the book. If anyone plans on working on a similar project, I strongly suggest borrowing my book or getting one for yourself. It is worth the read.

A few weeks ago, I purchased some rainboots that matched my great grandmothers beautiful rain coat. I learned the hard way through multiple rain storms, that they do not hold up to strong storms. I am disappointed in their failed effort of keeping my feet dry. At the same time, I have received countless compliments on them. Many people have asked me where I got them and have also been disappointed when I tell them ebay. Apparently that answer is not specific enough for their liking. With this information in mind; does anyone have any product suggestions for me in keeping rain water out of my rain boots?

My neurologist sent me to get a blood sample after my visit with her about two weeks ago. She told me that my levels were low and I should now take 250mg of lamotragine a day instead of 200. Which reminds me, she wanted me to get my blood drawn again two weeks from that day. I should probably find out what day that was. I can't remember. Most of you already know that my memory stinks. Now my neurologist has me even more paranoid that my memory is becoming worse than it ever was because i'm "electrocuting myself when I seize, and the effects are non reversible".  Bla bla bla. I know I should be more careful. I know stress and lack of sleep trigger the electrocutions. And yes, I worked 103 hours in my last 2 week pay period. That is 103 hours out in the sun/cold/rain at work; not including the time I spend biking both to and from work on top of that. I have already been lectured. I just wish people didn't have to worry about me as much as they do.

Speaking of getting my blood drawn... I have a ridiculous story for you. My neurologist wrote down the name Victoria on my blood draw slip instead of Valerie. Because of this, the receptionist at Bellin had to call my Neurologist to find proof that I am in fact Valerie. This took over 45 minutes to confirm! You would think that my insurance card or id would be enough of a verification. I was amused when I finally got in to see the phlebotomist when she had difficulty finding my vain. This is commonly a difficult procedure. After being stabbed about a dozen times in both arms, she finally found my vain and apologized. I was amused because I have never seen my blood come out so slowly before. We couldn't even get enough blood to fill up an entire test tube. Thankfully, it was enough to suffice, and I'm not bothered by needles.

I don't remember if I wrote about the duck that layed eggs in our garden in my previous post. A duck did, in fact, lay eggs in our front yard garden. 8 of them to be exact. It took over a month and a half for them to finally hatch. Two of them were duds. This mother duck prevented us from being able to pull weeds during this time. Now I am just a little sad that I missed the hatching, and that the family has left. They probably headed towards the fox river since the pond in our back yard has deceased; which surprises me with amount of rain that we have had this spring.

Holy shit balls! Summer officially begins this Friday. Summer has always been my favorite season of all. I couldn't stop laughing when I heard an old crab on the news today complain about it being the hottest day on record in Alaska which topped a whopping 80 degree record that they broke a day before. I don't know what is more amusing; the fact that the national news made an excruciating attempt at publicizing a minute and a halfs worth of information on this boring topic, or that this women was as upset as she about this topic during her interview. Unfortunately, I couldn't find footage of this women on youtube.

Defective wiener

I am relieved to finally feel like another productive member of society. I did the math last night and figured out that between today and the last day of the month, I am scheduled to work 91.5 hours. This may seem like a lot of hours in a short span of time, but we must remember that I have been out of work for a year. With less than $50 to my name right now, this number is music to my ears. That being said, I can't thank my family and friends enough for being as supportive and understanding as you all are of my decision to become a social hermit for the 8th? summer in a row. I am thankful of the job security that I will always have through working for the city (although I am hopeful that I will never again find it necessary to do so).

Speaking of being thankful for the city and job security.... Bay Beach is still hiring people! If any of my readers need or know someone who needs some extra cash, don't hesitate to talk to me about it. The job is secure and flexible. Let me just say to my unemployed readers, I have an 11 year old sister who has told me numerous times that she wishes she could also become a productive member of society this summer and find a job. Ok, she didn't exactly put it in those words. Either way, the only reason she is not yet doing it is because of child labor laws and the ill trust of an 11 year old as a sitter.

Side note: I keep bumping into the mouse wheel in the center of my keyboard. It is right between the letters g, h, and b. It is driving me nuts and I can't figure out how to fix it. I would like to find out what the designer of this lap top was thinking when they decided that this would be a good idea.

I have taken a slight break in my push ups goal. I have found it more difficult each day to take off a top without getting my arm stuck in a sleeve in the process. I am contemplating weather or not the benefits of being strong and reaching a goal over ride the  difficulties of stripping and the temptation to shop.

I don't remember if I wrote about this in my last blog, but my TMJ dr. called me a weenier at my last appointment. Meaning I am getting weened off of my mouth splint. He recommends I wear it in two hour intervals a couple times a day and to wear it over night. The first day I attempted this, I woke up with a migraine the next morning. I have begun to notice minute headaches after a bumpy bike ride. I have a hard time believing that this is at all a coincidence or in my head. Well it's in my head hahaha but you know what I mean. I would actually prefer to wear it if this would continue to be the case. I'll talk to my dr. in two weeks about this during my next appointment. It appears to me that currently I am a defective wiener.

On that note, I'll conclude my post. I hope to make more frequent appearances on Quigsawpuzzle, but lately I have been easily distracted by summer happenings.

Spring is here. Mothers day is near.

It has been nearly a month since I updated my blog. This is because my 5 year old lap top (that has had no volume for the past year) finally bit the dust. I finally got my new lap top today. It came with some pretty awesome program packages. I have yet to mess around with all of them, but I believe that one program in particular would be a perfect for my cousin. I don’t know if any of you have heard of it. I had never heard of it until now. It is called Cook’n for PC. Here is a link http://www.dvo.com/gcookn.html?CID=B_software If I hadn’t have received it for free, I would probably never consider owning such a program. Since I do, I am going to let my obsessive compulsive habits go to work. Anyway, cousin (you know who you are), let me know if you are interested in using it. I’ll be happy to  let you do so.

As most of you know; mothers day is coming up. For those of you who didn’t know; you’re welcome. What has my mom  received for this special occasion? Her second ear infection in a month. She is also nearly finished with her physical therapy because of her frozen shoulder. I don’t even know what to get for the poor lady this year. Typically mothers like to receive I would spend money on her, but she would much rather me save up to get the hell out of her house. Maybe I’ll kill a tree and give her a card. I never give out cards. She also asked me if I could find a ride home from work on Sunday. I told her that I gladly would walk or bike home. She said that she wouldn’t let me do that. This is EXACTLY why I need to move out. Ok anyway.... new subject.

Since I work this weekend, I decided to celebrate mothers day with my grandma tonight instead. I brought all of the pictures that I have had nicely organized in my room. We spent nearly 3 hours going through them. We got through most of them. Yes, that’s right, MOST of them! The funniest part about tonight was that there was an exact replica of an old black and white picture of two young men. Grandma described them both to me in completely different ways. I clearly share my great memory skills with her. I intend to put these pictures in a scrap book now that I finally know who all of these people are. The descriptions might not always match the pictures, but at least I tried. I am apologizing in advance to any future little Quigley’s out there who might look at the scrap book and think the creator was on crack. My future grand children (if I ever have any) will probably be using time machines, wearing gas masks, or wiped out by some sort of infestations anyway. I might as well apologize for that too while I’m at it.

I worked my first weekend at Bay Beach last week. My dermatologist told me that my medication was going to make me more sensitive to the sun and to stay in the shade. Did I listen to him? No. I got wind burn at the top of the slide on Saturday, then I worked in the sunniest spot of the park on Sunday. I still won’t complain. I’ll take sun burn over the cold any day. It certainly looked odd and hurt like a bitch for a couple of days though. I know he was not the only one, but I overheard one customer whisper "she looks fried". Another customer told me that I was the most enthusiastic employee that he had seen at the park all day. I found that hard to believe, considering it was nearly impossible to move a muscle above my cheeks without tearing up. I found it even harder to believe after I woke up Monday morning with my face stuck to my pillow where 2 blisters had erupted over night. Don’t worry folks; I changed the pillow case! Let that be a lesson to the rest of my readers. When a professional tells you that your medication will make you more sensitive to the sun, take that advice seriously.

About a month ago, I set a new goal for myself. I honestly don’t remember what compelled me to do this. My goal is to master a set of 100 push ups. When I started out, I could only do 6 push ups. Now, I can do a full set of 20 push ups. Monday night, I did 110 push ups all together within a half hours time. I can’t even explain  how great this feels. Once I hit my goal, someone better convince me to stop. I don’t want to look like a disproportionate Popeye.